The Most Feared Two Words: "Too Fresh"

Once upon a time I was a little canadian girl transported into the big world of the Texas cutting horse scene. We were at a show, my first show (!!), when I was handed the reins for a seasoned 7 year old show-horse, and told to get him ready. My fellow-loper assured me this horse was "super easy" to get ready. She said to me, "Trot and lope him, once he drops his head he's about ready, take him to the middle and if he pee's that's his cue, he's ready to cut." 

So here I was, loping around, and this horse goes pee... not once, not twice, but three times. Shit, I thought, maybe I over-loped him? But, he didn't really feel "ready". I was having a mental back-and-forth about the whole thing when all of a sudden over the loud-speaker I heard "-horse- please get ready"... well then...

So, off I get, and hand the reins over to the Texan Trainer. He gets on, does some dry work and all of a sudden takes off loping around the arena.

My friends, that is never a good sign.

Me:

The Texan Trainer walked into that pen, and that "seasoned show horse" that's "so easy to get ready", well he sort of turned into a very seasoned...

... dragon...

a dragon who wanted to eat some cows alive

That horse zinged and zanged from wall to wall, and at one point, I swear to you almost sent himself and the Texan Trainer right into a wall. My co-worker who had given me such helpful advice, turned and stared at me with an open mouth. Yep, I was screwed.

The buzzer finally went and the Texan Trainer walked out of the pen, jumped off and shoved me the reins. He stared me down and said very tersely "Way. Too. Fresh" and then huffed off.

I stared that "seasoned show" horse down, and I swear to you he looked smug.

Seasoned Show Horse:

"Got ya, you little inexperienced loper bitch"